Have you ever just sat and contemplated your surroundings with the intention that you need to get something out of the staring session? I can’t say I have, until I found myself staring at a wall thinking about being single.
It took me some time to realize exactly what I wanted in life. I still figure that I’m not a 100% certain. I do know that family is a big part of it. I’m wondering what it would look like if I decided my life dream when I was 5 would be the dream that I’m stuck with for the rest of my life.
The process of figuring out who we are and what we want in life isn’t always easy. Sometimes we learn from a lot of heartache and sometime it comes really gentle. I have found that it looks different for every person.
Recognizing your season may save you from a lot of pain.
Stewarding the season of singleness before marriage well, can be the very thing that prepares you for a great marriage. I believe that if you desire to be married you probably have a high value, even if it’s deep inside, for family and trust. It’s so beautiful when we have a high value for something that so many people just throw away through divorce, affairs and betrayal.
So how do you actually do this stewarding thing?
Stewarding in simple words means not rushing the process. Seeing things as it is and letting it grow and develop in you. It’s taking responsibility and ownership for the things you care about by learning to be yourself and managing yourself well.
Stewarding singleness well can be as simple as viewing things you hate doing as things preparing you to be a better future wife/ future husband. It can also be as complex as learning to manage your inner world and be a healthy whole person.
Something that can be really valuable is for you to actually learn ‘who you are’ and ‘how to be comfortable in your own skin’. It’s a incredible help to get the answers to these two questions. It’s not just for romantic relationships, but even just for relationships on average.
When we learn to discern the seasons we are in it becomes a good tool to use for different areas of our lives, and not just for the relationship mountain.
Purity and the part it plays!
All of us have heard at least one message on purity, whether in SEX ED or through the abstinence talk of bees and flowers. The truth is not a lot of people really ever know why they are told to not have sex before marriage or why not to look at porn. Most people are just told that it’s bad and you shouldn’t do it. Others are feared to not do it, by being told that they can get AIDS or others STD’s. The truth is your purity is mostly for you. It’s a treasure you can give your future husband/wife, a trophy if you want. It’s so worth it fighting for this very thing.
When you violate your purity, it doesn’t just affect your life, but it affects the life of hundreds of other people too. The truth is having sex with someone you are not gonna marry creates soul ties. It creates pain. It creates heartache in the lives of other women and men who would eventually end up marrying the man or woman you had sex with.
You can restore this, you can be a CHANGE!
You can turn to Jesus and ask him to forgive your sins, by repenting. Repenting means admitting you are wrong and changing your mind and running a complete different direction. A simple prayer you can pray is: ” Jesus I invite you into my process. I am sorry for sinning against others and against you. Will you come and love me and forgive me of my sins (be specific). Lord I pray that you would restore my purity to a level of wholeness. I pray that you will transform my mind regarding this issue and give me the grace I need to walk out this process of healing and restoration. Thank you Jesus for holding my heart in your hand and for creating in me the woman/man that you desire. In Jesus name, Amen!
“Let it go, just let it be. Why don’t you be you, and I’ll be me.” This describes it the best to me. Let it go and learn to be you!