Pornography is one of the most dangerous things not just too adults, but to the rising generation. I am really passionate about seeing the end of human trafficking, and because of that, I know the connection between pornography and human trafficking. I’ll probably also be one of those people who sob at every single survivor story. I can’t think that people think it’s okay. It definitely is NOT!!
It’s important that we educate our children (future leaders) about this issue. It’s destroying a generation that’s meant for greatness. One of the reasons that this becomes a big problem is that it gets masked up. This makes people feel like it’s unsafe to speak about it.
Here is 5 things I’ll teach my daughters about pornography.
1. It’s not just a guy thing.
Most girls fall into the trap of shame thinking that internet pornography is just a guy struggle and that there is something wrong with them. Not a lot of girls know that 1 in every 6 women, between the ages 15-36, are addicted to pornography. They think they are alone when they get confronted with this very dark thing and that they have no one to talk to, because they will be judged and rejected, especially in church. This is exactly the enemy’s scheme with women and porn. Teens are especially prone to this tactic as well. The enemy tries to keep you in a place where you think you are alone. This causes depression, shame and guilt and then you just have another excuse for why you are watching porn.
There’s two spectrums of extremes here. Either girls who watch porn live in isolation about this issue, or they are being influenced by a bad group of friends. It’s most likely the first one.
2. The first look might be accidental, but the second look is a choice.
In the world we live in today, it’s impossible to indemnify yourself from porn. It’s everywhere and most of the time it’s not your fault when it pops up on the Tv or your computer screen. While it’s not possible to escape that, the second look or click is always a choice. What are you going to do with this new planted tree in your garden of wrong and right? Because love is a choice, it’s important to choose the right tree. DO THE RIGHT THING! Porn kills love, in fact it destroys it.
3. It’s better to talk about sex than to get hurt by it because you didn’t know.
When you’re a child it’s easy to lose your innocence, because of someone else’s perversity. I’d teach my daughters to talk about what they feel. Asking questions without shame, instead of being hurt by someone they don’t know, will become a habit. I will teach them that they are in a safe environment and that’s it’s okay when these questions pop up. It’s normal for kids to have questions. When the environment is safe it’s probably the best place for a child to grow up in. Don’t make sex an embarrassing topic. Talk about it openly in the house environment. It was never meant to be shameful.
4. “I’m always there for you, no matter if you looked at porn.”
Now there’s a line that may look cliché, but I promise you it’s what every daughter needs to hear. The fact that a mom is there for you no matter what you do or do not do. I believe that moms who communicate this well will see more fruit in the intimacy of the relationship than moms who don’t. This communication skill can also create a lot of trust in the relationship that might have been absent previously. Also this is a key relationship to stopping addiction. Honestly if your relationship with your daughter is strong, secrets would be hard to hide and this could be the line between freedom and addiction.
5. Vulnerability breaks shame.
Whenever you let light in on something shameful, powerful things start happening. “The light shines into darkness, and the darkness must flee!” – John 1:5 The truth is whenever we don’t understand something it often becomes shameful, because the world teaches us a lot about shame. Shame is your worst enemy!
Pray this simple little prayer to get rid of shame. Just pray, Jesus I thank you that I can come to You with anything. I surrender this part of my heart also to You. I’m sorry that I’ve been partnering with shame. I don’t want to any longer. I realize that You died so that I can live in freedom. Come and show me what that means. Amen. Teach your kids from a young age that vulnerability breaks shame. Freedom comes when shame is broken. Teach them how to pray!
With all of that said it’s important that you know the facts before just teaching something you know nothing about.
A very small amount of people actually know this about pornography:
- The pornography industry fuels human trafficking.
- Pornography is masking a deeper issue of pain. Go find out what the root of your pain is and deal with it.
- Pornography destroys love and relationships, because it’s a perversion of true love.
- Pornography isn’t good for anyone, not in any sense. It only brings shame and insecurity.
- Pornography is stronger than heroin according to statistics.
- If you’re a mom and you’re struggling with this, or even your husband, deal with these issues, because kids pick it up through generational lines. Live for a legacy. Stop this thing today, with you, there’s no shame, JUST STOP!
- Resist temptation! The end of the temptation is probably 5 minuets away.
This may seem very basic to some, but there’s a lot of people who just don’t know how to communicate this. This is said with a lot of love! I believe that these are the things I would teach my daughters one day. I believe we are all world changers as parents or future parents. We can raise our children to make an even greater impact in the world by raising them up and setting them up for success. Let’s restore a world back to freedom by doing the right thing and breaking shame. Love breaks cycles of shame!
I love you guys,